“I actually don’t care anymore. I am beyond it.”

I have always had something of a problem with my self-confidence, but as I am getting older, I can honestly say that I am beginning to feel a lot happier in myself and with how I look. I still have crappy rubbish days – doesn’t everyone? But I seem to have developed my own sort of style and look. I don’t really like to look like everyone else, and try to buy things that suits me and make me happy! haha! I always try to stay clear from the typical Essex look. Always! haha! It’s not that I am bothered about where I come from, because, truth be told, I actually like Essex quite a lot haha! But, I don’t appreciate white heels or mini skirts! (Stereotype of what – but it is kinda true! haha!) I don’t think that I am honestly a ‘Essex girl’ at heart. I hate ‘The only way is Essex’ and am still very proud of the fact that I have never watched a episode haha! I find it quite insulting to think that they are representing where I am from and they speak and act how they do, but I suppose it’s some sort of entertainment for some people lol…

I am going for a photoshoot on Thursday with my Sister and Elite Modelling. i am really looking forward to it, but not really liking the idea of posing around in front of people. I will constantly be thinking, ‘What are they thinking?’ ‘Do I look okay?’ etc. But it should be fun. And so long as I get a nice picture at the end of it, I really don’t mind haha! I am clearly going straight to ‘Boots’ afterwards to get one printed for my wall haha!Oh did I mention, I am going with my insanely skinny Sister? haha… just another bonus to the day. :P

I think since my holiday, I really have had a different outlook on stuff. I am much more for doing what makes you happy and taking the life’s too short approach to stuff, which can only be a good thing :) I am only 21 and suddenly realised that my only real responsibility is University, so so long as I don’t miss that or don’t keep on track – I’m fine haha! I am much more confident and even if people are looking at me oddly or I can see them whispering to their mates, I actually don’t care anymore. I am beyond it. :D YAY! GO ME!

On a bit of a side note, I walked a massive 7 .2 miles yesterday, which is my furthest so far and I am actually considering walking even further tomorrow, but I don’t wanna pull anything etc. I am so proud of myself, which sounds silly, but I honestly think I could have walked further, and my mind is so set on doing this marathon in the time target I have set myself. I know I can do it. It’s still not to late to sponsor so please give as little or as much as you can, I would love to buy a microarray machine (which basically senses cancer genes and recognises them so that they can be treated.) One of this impressive and essential machines is Β£260. I am so close and need just Β£54 to get there, so please help me and help someone to get treated before the cancer spreads to more difficult areas with this amazing machine. Just go to http://www.sponsormetoshine.org/sarahlouisedow

Anyway, I am off to jump in the bath, read some more Harry Potter and generally chill.

Peace and love, Polly-May xxx


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