Help… Is it all worth it?

life & living

A quick heads up – this could be a quite serious post… But I do need your help.

As some of you might already know, I am a primary school teacher. I began teaching in September 2013 with my very own class full of characters, challenges and awesomeness! I had worked for about 3 weeks before this, but I was keen to put my stamp on my class and set my own ground rules. I did this and when I stood and the front of my class, I couldn’t imagine myself doing anything else!

The enjoyment of standing in front of a class and explaining something until you can see by their faces that they have understood still stands. I love it when they ask me questions to reassure themselves and when that child who hasn’t understood how to tell the time all week in maths finally gets it! It’s amazing and I don’t think I would find that feeling in many other jobs. I love the social side, the influence that you have on children and the fact that you become almost a friend to them and that they feel as though they can talk to you and ask you how something works.

The downside and the thing that is making me re-think a few things is the workload and the amount of paperwork that there is to complete on a daily basis. I teach Literacy, Maths and two foundation subjects each day (as well as, guided reading, assembly readers, show and tell, change books at break time and keep children in at lunchtimes for bad behaviour or not completing their work / homework. This means that I bring home 120 pieces of work home to mark every day. If I work through my lunchtime, it is possible to finish maths, but then I don’t eat until the children have gone home at the end of the day. (Something I don’t like doing, but something that has become something of a habit.) I work flat-out from 7:50am, when I arrive at school, until 5:30-6:00pm, when I leave tot ravel home. Once I get home, I continue to mark, plan and fill out paperwork for another 2-3 hours. It’s honestly really difficult when you are so exhausted because you are working constantly until late into the night.

I do enjoy working with children and I love that I can explain and empower them to move forward and grow as people. I am, however, unsure about the impact I am now having when I am completely exhausted all of the time. So, what would you do? Would you cut and run? Would you continue and just hope that it gets better? Or, would you do the whole ‘life is too short’ and find something else that you can have a life at the same time? I am at a lose. I think it’s on my mind more because I don’t feel like I am doing the job that I love to the best of my ability. Is it just me or is there something I can do about it? I can’t sleep anymore, I can’t not take work home because I would become so insanely overwhelmed with marking. I just don’t know what do and I had said to myself that I would choose by Easter. Oh yeah, it’s Easter.

I guess the whole point of this blog is to ask for some help. This is a lifestyle blog and I feel like my job is a massive part of my life right now. I just need some guidance in helping me decide what to do. I love teaching and I honestly get ‘kicks’ out of my job when I can do my job well, but I’m not sure how well I’m doing it at the moment and that’s me being completely and utterly honest. I suppose what it all boils down to is: Is it all worth it?

Peace and love, Polly May xx

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