Back to Blogging.

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So, you may, or may not, have noticed that I took a somewhat break from my blog through January. This was completely unintentional, however, it also showed me that I need to go out and do more things! It sounds really strange, but when I’m in blogging mode, I go and see things and do things so that I can update it and hopefully you will find it interesting. January was a really good month for me. I have stayed on top of all of my work stuff and I’ve been able to really try and not get too stressed. However, my social life took a back seat.

Teaching was something that I decided I wanted to do when I was around 17/18. I knew that I wanted to make a difference and I knew that I wanted to be fairly hands on when it came to learning. I completed an art diploma, went to University and began my job in a… “challenging” school (Couldn’t think how to describe it). I am now in a lovely school, with staff and parents who all care about the children within it. If there are any issues or concerns, they are dealt with and I have to say that they are also very supportive and have welcomed me really well since joining in September.

My rambling is basically leading to this question; “Is this it?” This doesn’t apply to my job in the slightest. It’s not dragging me down or worrying me or making me feel like I’m not achieving anything. I am, and I know I am, but it is aimed at day to day life. I normally get up around 6/6:30am unless I am going into work early for something and I return home at about 6/6:30pm in the evening. I then eat my dinner, mark some more books, do a bit more planning and that’s it. I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I think it is to make myself see that time with my friends and family should always come first, no matter what. It can be really difficult. I have a busy job that needs a lot of focus, they also have hectic lives with things going on, but do people get to a certain age and just stop making that time for people? Do you have to put your grown-up responsibilities before what you actually want to do?

We are kind of told not to say ‘I want’ in life. But why not? I don’t get it. Why can’t we say what we want? Surely it’s our life and we’re the only ones who know what we want from it? Well…

I want to travel. I want to see things. I want to climb mountains and trees and swing on ropes. I want to eat really disgusting looking/sounding foods. I want to go shopping and spend a fortune and not worry. I want to read a ton of books and not feel like I’ve wasted that time. I want to spend time roaming around museums without worrying about train times to get home. I want to get stupidly drunk and laugh so much that my stomach hurts. I want to be able to understand some of the poems/readings/books that my sister reads and ‘get it’. I want to learn to make my own dress from scratch. I want to see Kanye West screaming his songs out in the flesh. I want to dance and make a fool out of myself. I want to have the confidence to go and eat in public on my own. I want to paint a sky that is bigger than my bedroom wall. I want to think ‘f*** it’ when someone looks at me or makes a comment about what I’m wearing/my hair/my make-up/my life. I want to cry laugh in public and not cover up my face.

This is in no way aimed at any person or specific things in my life, it’s just a discussion point that I’ve needed to get off my chest so to speak. I think this is the most honest I’ve been in ages and I totally and utterly didn’t mean for it to turn into this ramble that it has. I guess this could be the kick up the bum that I needed to stop stressing and worrying about the little things and focus on what matters.

‘The only beautiful things are the things that do not concern us’ – Oscar Wilde

I hope this has inspired/captured/made you think/change your mind/given you confidence or whatever you need from it!

Peace and love, Polly May xx

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One thought on “Back to Blogging.

  1. There’s nothing stopping you from doing any of those things on your list – just walk into somewhere one lunchtime and sit down and order what you want to eat, and then eat it. Go into a bookshop, pick up something that looks interesting, and read it. Ask people who their favourite poets are, go to museums, soak it all up,and then go and drink cocktails and think about it. If you miss the train, there’s always a night bus. :) xxxx

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